Warnings for Trans Gay

The topic is about navigating through the gay community as a trans masculine guy. Life is already hard for trans. You can imagine it is even worse for a trans gay. Today, we are talking about the difficulties that may will be encountered as a trans gay when they are looking for partners on gay hookup apps.

1. Questions, questions and questions
We all know that people love to ask trans people questions and that doesn't stop within a gay community. What are you going to do with your transition? What did you look like before? What is your name before?  Guys, gay guys, lesbians, please educate yourself in the community and outside of it if you want to have a trans dating. It is our responsibility to not bombard other human-beings with inappropriate questions. No matter you are a trans or not, nobody wants to be asked what they are doing in bed, and what they are going to do with their genital surgically. Everybody has an awkward history about ourselves.

2. Invalidation
As a trans, you are going to probably experience invalidation. We get it from our parents, friends, family and so on. Frankly speaking, you probably going to get it from the gay community too. There are still some persons in the LGBT community are not completely liberal and educated. They could be homophobic in their own. There are lots of toxicity, racism, heteronormative and transphobia within the gay community. It will be ugly sometimes. It could be in the form of aggressive harassment, fetishization, being fetishized, microaggression and mis-gendering. Sometimes the words are not usually expressed to the trans person himself, but to the partner. So the responsibility sometimes falls on to the partners' or the friends' shoulders. It is also every body's responsibility to hold each other accountable, especially in the LGBT community.

3. Fetishizing in the harassment
Trans people have been fetishized since their existence. Trans people deal with a lot of stereotypes and caricatures especially in the gay community fetishes. A man who may be small and feminine and fluid in his sexuality doesn't mean that he is a little sex toy or what they call beautiful trans prince. This is a sticky topic to talk about because sometimes someone will reclaim an identity that has been used to harm them. Sometimes within the gay community, reclaiming and the buttock sickness are meshed up. It is difficult to differentiate between fetish and reclaimed identity. You will experience the blurred line and differentiate the terms through your own boundaries. If someone is being abused, or power being misused, then that is something that should be abandoned.

4. Exclusivity
As a gay trans, there's huge possibility that you may get excluded from spaces and the crowd. For example, trans lesbians are excluded from the lesbian community for that they are considered as male even though they are women entering a women's space. Trans gays are excluded from the gay community because they are seen as female. Only a trans app can be a really comfortable place for them. These situations are the products of transphobia and heteronormativity, which is also the inequity that we actively should fight against. Therefore, if you are a trans gay and don't want to be treated that way, it is your responsibility to fight back and to empower the person who is being targeted.